Dealing with my dad is very frustrating. Last week, I sent him a Father’s Day card as a gesture of goodwill. He called me today to thank me for it, which was nice. However, when I asked him if he wanted to say hi to my husband, he said no. As backgound info, they’ve only met once and my dad never showed any interest in getting to know him. My dad also skipped our wedding because of aome ridiculous family drama that is better suited for another post. Despite all of that, I’ve managed to get on better terms withh him via a few peace offerings.
At this point I’m not even angry at him anymore, just saddened and confused by him. I want him to have a normal relationship with us but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. I don’t even know if he truly grasps the fact that I’m married and that I’m in my marriage for the long haul. Neither of us is going anywhere. We’ve made that clear. I just hope he accepts it before we decide to become parents. That’ll be a whole ‘nother kettle of fish but it’s still relevant to how I feel. How my dad feels about any of it (fatherhood,me,my marriage, etc.) is a mystery to me and that is why I’m sitting here typing this. Like, how can someone be so willingly disconnected from their only child’s life?
I mean, I get that the majority of my dad’s selfish/delusional/emotionally abusive/erratic actions stem from a lifetime of raging, jntreated mental illness and his rough childhood, but in a strange way that realization makes dealing with him a lot more difficult for me. My own struggles with very different mental health issues give me a lot of sympathy for him yet a large part of me wishes I can just easily write him off as an asshole and call it a day. It’s tough, y’all.
No comments:
Post a Comment